


Be My Date

by deathishauntedbyhumans



Category: Star vs. The Forces Of Evil
Genre: Based on a roleplay, Demons, Fake Dating, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Family, Family Party, Flirting, Fool the Family, Internal Monologue, M/M, Marco's POV, Meet the Family, POV Third Person Limited, Texting, The Author Regrets Everything, WIP, Written Before Season Three
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-06 17:53:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12822891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathishauntedbyhumans/pseuds/deathishauntedbyhumans
Summary: Star rolled her eyes and dropped the spellbook back onto the floor, ignoring the vaguely muffled “oomph” from inside of it. “He’s not asking me, Marco, he’s asking you,” she pointed out, and Marco slapped a hand to his forehead. Why did he even bother coming to Star for advice? She continued, oblivious to his obvious annoyance. “If it were me, I’d drop him like a hot plate of Mewnicakes. But since it’s you…” She shrugged, flopping onto her bed again and catching her wand as it bounced. “I say you should do it.”Tom needs a date for a demon family function, and he can't ask Star, so he asks Marco instead.





	Be My Date

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: Marco, quick, I need a favor. T**

The buzzing of his phone startled Marco out of his almost-nap, and he groaned, throwing a hand over his eyes. Why did the world hate him? He had almost been asleep. So close… But too far away to claim he hadn’t gotten the message, if anyone asked. He groaned again and rolled over, groping blindly for his phone on his nightstand and taking a look once he finally had it in his hand. 

**Diaz: I’m not going to agree until you tell me what it is. M**

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: But you won’t agree if I tell you. T**

Well, he was certainly awake now. Marco frowned, sitting up properly in bed and adjusting his sweatshirt absently. 

**Diaz: Then why would I bother agreeing now? M**

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: Ughhh. Fine, I need a date. And I can’t ask Star. T**

Marco snorted. Of course he couldn’t ask Star; she was still very pointedly not having anything to do with him. 

**Diaz: What do you want me to do about it? M**

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: Be my date, obviously. T**

Marco stared uncomprehendingly down at his phone, unable to discern whether or not he was reading it right. He attempted different phrasings of the message, possible mistakes… Tom wasn’t actually asking him to be his date, was he? That couldn’t be real. Maybe he actually _had_ fallen asleep, and he was just dreaming! He dropped his phone onto the bed and slapped himself on the arm. Hard. 

Ouch. Nope. Okay, he was awake.

**Diaz: I’m sorry, I think you mistyped something?? M**

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: No I didn’t. I need you to be my date, Diaz. T**

**Diaz: First of all, are you out of your mind? Second of all, why me? And third of all, I know you’re out of your mind, so don’t bother answering that. M**

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: No, I’m not out of my mind, because you’re my best friend, technically, also, again, not out of my mind. T**

That actually caused Marco to pause. While he and Tom had managed to get along as of late --between the ping pong and bonding over Love Sentence and Mackie Hand movies-- he hadn’t actually thought that they were _friends_. Much less _best_ friends. _Star_ was his best friend, if he had to choose one.

**Diaz: Wait a second. I’m your best friend? M**

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: Technically. And no one in the Underworld knows you, so you’re also the perfect cover. T**

He was just a cover. Right. Because Tom apparently considered him a best-friend-by-default. Great. 

**Diaz: Fine. Let’s say I agree to this. What exactly is it that we’re doing on this date? M**

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: I’m taking you to a family dinner of sorts. T**

**Diaz: Isn’t your family… like… M**

**Diaz: Some sort of all powerful bunch of demons? M**

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: Yeah, basically. My uncle is the current king of the Underworld. And his son is a stupid jerk… T**

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: It’ll be my aunt and uncle, my mother, a couple of my cousins, and about a hundred important demons to the Underworld. T**

A demon party. Tom was inviting him to a demon party. A demon family party, where they would be lying to a bunch of demons and telling them that they were dating. Somehow, Marco was thinking it wasn’t a great idea to agree to it.

**Diaz: Great. Yeah. Okay. And why do you so desperately need a date for this? M**

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: Because right now I’m trying to become king of the Underworld. Or at least, put myself in my Uncle’s favor. And if I don’t show him that I’m capable of keeping a partner because of my temper, they won’t consider me. And if they don’t consider me, my cousin will fuck things up. T**

“Staaaaaaar?!?” Marco had decided, very intelligently, thank you very much, that this was not a decision to make on his own. After all, he knew next to nothing about the politics of other dimensions. And Star had dated Tom; she would have more of an idea than he would as to whether or not this was a real concern.

“Yeeeees, Marco?” Star was lying on her bed, her wand pointed at the ceiling, though she swung her feet onto the floor as Marco burst into her room.   
He held up his phone, shaking it a little for emphasis as he spoke. “Tom is asking me to be his fake date for some family get-together that apparently is going to determine the fate of the underworld,” he said in a rush, and Star blinked at him a couple of times before her face dropped. She rubbed at her eyes, looking as though the very thought of Tom had exhausted her.

“Oooh,” she muttered, and Marco frowned. 

“Oh?” he replied incredulously, waving his phone around. “What am I supposed to do? Is this even a real thing?” 

Star stood up, dropping her wand down onto her bed. “Oh, it’s real alright, Marco. It’s very real. The underworld is a  _ terrible _ place, and the ruler is determined from the children of the leaders every hundred years. All the demon kids try to compete for the  _ affection _ ,” she said it like it was a bad thing. “Of the older demons, until the King and Queen of the underworld make their decision.” She’d gone over to her spellbook and had opened it. 

“So… What should I tell him?” Marco asked, as Glossaryck popped out. He opened his mouth, but Star pushed him back into the book.    


“Not  _ now _ , Glossaryck,” she griped impatiently, rapidly turning the pages. She pointed excitedly to the one she was looking for when she found it. “Here!” She turned the book to Marco, opening it in his face. He blinked before pushing it away a little and skimming over the page.    


“Sta _ -ar _ ! This doesn’t  _ help _ me! I don’t need to know why it happens, I just need to know what to tell him!”    


Star rolled her eyes and dropped the spellbook back onto the floor, ignoring the vaguely muffled “oomph” from inside of it. “He’s not asking me, Marco, he’s asking you,” she pointed out, and Marco slapped a hand to his forehead. Why did he even bother coming to Star for advice? She continued, oblivious to his obvious annoyance. “If it were  _ me _ , I’d drop him like a hot plate of Mewnicakes. But since it’s  _ you _ …” She shrugged, flopping onto her bed again and catching her wand as it bounced. “I say you should do it.”    


“...Wait, what?” Marco whipped his head up again to stare at Star, who’d gone back to pointing her wand at the ceiling and squinting at… something. Marco was too invested in his own issues to pay it much attention.    


“I  _ saaid _ you should do it,” Star repeated offhandedly without bothering to look over and register Marco’s astonishment. “You couldn’t stop talking about Tom for  _ aaaages  _ after the whole Mackie Hand thing. I don’t get along with him, but you do. So you should go! Just because he’s my ex boyfriend doesn’t mean you guys can’t hang out.”    


“But a fake-date?” Marco asked, flabberghasted. Star shrugged.    


“It could be worse.”    


Slowly, Marco stepped out of the room and back towards his own, staring down at his phone. He guessed she had a point...

**Diaz: Y'know what, okay. I’ll do it. It can’t be worse than anything else I’ve been through since Star moved in. M**

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: You are a LIFESAVER, Diaz! I totally owe you. T**

**Diaz: Just.. try and keep the flames down to a minimum, alright? M**

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: I’ll try. My cousin really pisses me off, so. I’ll try. T**

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: I’m sure I’ll be in a better mood with you there, though. T**

Lying back on his bed, Marco blinked at his phone above his head, where he was holding it carefully. That was… surprisingly nice. He found himself smiling a little as he typed his reply. 

**Diaz: Well, we can always just make him look like an idiot, instead. If he’s such a huge jerk, it shouldn’t be that difficult. M**

After all, that was what they’d done with those idiots in their shiny car when they’d been hanging out the last time. Marco deigned not to respond to the other, more sentimental message. After all, Tom was probably just grateful for his help. ...right? 

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: Hopefully. Man, doing that would be so much fun. Could we prank him all night? T**

**Diaz: As long as I don’t get set on fire for it, yes. M**

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: Oh, maybe you shouldn’t, then. Al can be a dick. T**

**Diaz:I mean, we can always blame someone else. Got any other cousins you don’t like? We could set ‘em at each others’ throats. M**

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: Oh, so evil, Marco <3 I love it. T**

The grin that had wound its way over Marco’s features at the idea of spending time with Tom pranking other members of his family froze at the use of the heart in their conversation, and his phone dropped from his suddenly-numb fingers onto his face. A  _ heart _ ?! What did  _ that  _ mean?! 

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: But actually, lets not. They’ll definitely try to point fingers at me if I point fingers at them. T**

A  _ heart _ ?!

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: Also, if anyone asks, we’ve been dating for the past seven months. T**

What was he supposed to say to that? A  _ heart _ ?! He rubbed at his nose, making a vague noise of pain. Phones weren’t supposed to fall on faces. 

**Diaz: Past seven months. Got it. M**

Maybe he was overthinking it. Plenty of people used emoticons in their everyday lives, with people that they had meaningful relationships with. And if Tom considered him his best friend, maybe he just meant the heart platonically! That made sense. Marco kicked himself for overthinking it. 

**Diaz: Anything else I need to know about our “relationship?” M**

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: Don’t say we met through Star - demons do NOT like Mewni. T**

**Diaz: Okay… How DID we meet, then? I’m just some random human. M**

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: You’re not just some human. You’re the boyfriend to Tom the Demon ;) T**

Well, no. He wasn’t. That was his whole point. Without Star, he had absolutely no connection to any dimension besides his own. There was no reason for Tom to have any sort of relationship with him at all, much less a romantic one. 

**Diaz: …right. M**

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: I’ll just say I met you on one of my inter dimensional trips. Uh. Maybe we met in like, a library or something. I don’t know. Got any romantic scenarios in your brain there? T**

Marco frowned, thinking it through. Maybe there was some _other_ reason for Tom to be on Earth? If he was there for some trip, maybe… Hm. Maybe Marco had been in some sort of danger, and Tom had…? No, no, that made him sound too wimpy. He was a misunderstood bad boy, dang it! **  
**

Maybe he’d invoked the demon…? No; he had no idea how to invoke a demon, first of all, and he didn’t even know if that was an actual thing. Plus, it made their relationship more creepy-sounding than it needed to be.   
If he’d nearly died and Tom had saved him? No. It made him sound danger-prone, and weak. He had nothing. 

**Diaz: Nothing that doesn’t make me sound like a damsel in distress. M**

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: Wait, so you DO want to be a damsel in distress? T**

Why had he said that?!

**Diaz: No! No, that is not what I said! Not at all! M**

Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: Alright. Damsel in distress it is. I’ll say I saved you from a motorcycle gang or something. And that you totally swooned. T

**Diaz: Oh my god. No. We are so not using that. M**

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: Too late. I’m doing it. T**

So much for making a reasonable impression on Tom’s family. Not that that was necessary, since the only reason he was doing this was because he was helping Tom, not because he needed to make a good impression for himself, but… Well, he didn’t want to sound like a complete dork, no matter what dimension he was in. 

**Diaz: Remind me why I agreed to this? M**

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: Because the fate of the Underworld is at stake. T**

**Diaz: Oh. Right. M**

**Diaz: Fine. M**

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: Thank you, babe. T**

Marco was very, very glad he’d moved to lie on his stomach, because if his phone had been above him, he had no doubt he would have dropped it again. His nose was still sore from the last time. 

**Diaz: Babe???? M**

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: Don’t worry, if everything goes right tonight, you’ll have earned yourself a no-rule demon favor. T**

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: Well, yeah, I gotta call you something endearing tonight. T**

So he was practicing?! That didn’t make a  _ ton _ of sense, considering that it was only the two of them texting one another, but… Marco sighed, rubbed a hand over his face. He was putting  _ waaaaay  _ too much thought into this thing. After all, it was just one fake date, with someone who trusted him and considered him a friend. He didn’t need to overthink it.    


He didn’t.    


_ Really.  _ _   
_

Besides, he had other things to worry about. Including the no-rule demon wish. Was it like a genie wish? Unlimited power?  _ Actual _ unlimited power, versus genies with their whole “three wishes, three rules” deal? Or was that just genies in Disney movies? He’d have to ask Star. Or maybe Glossaryck.    


Actually, probably not Glossaryck. He was still as difficult as he’d been the first time Marco’d been forced to deal with him. 

**Diaz: Huh. Guess I’ll have to think about that one. M**

**Diaz: How about… not babe. That’s terrible. Why don’t you just call me Marco? M**

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: Definitely. Take your time on it. But ONLY if tonight goes perfectly. T**

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: How about Diaz? T**

That was what Tom normally called him. Did that mean that calling him by his last name was actually an affectionate term, coming from Tom? That this wasn’t as fake of a date as he’d said? That--   


_ No. Nonononono. Snap out of it, Diaz. You’re overthinking things again.  _

**Diaz: That’s better than babe, I guess. M**

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: Alright. Then I’ll pick you up at seven? T**

**Diaz: Yeah. I’ll see you then, I guess. M**

**Demon Ex-Boyfriend Tom: I’ll see you then. ;) T**

**Author's Note:**

> Formatting this was a BITCH and a half, oh my god. 
> 
> The second chapter will come eventually. It's about halfway done atm, so we'll see. 
> 
> My tumblr is deathishauntedbyhumans if you want to scream at me.


End file.
